Monday, July 16, 2007

As Green as it Gets: Al Gore's daughter weds

Al Gore’s daughter Sarah was married on July 14 in Beverly Hills to Bill Lee. “I admire a man who conserves letters in his own name,” the beaming father of the bride said.

The Gore family is looking to Sarah as their next political star. “I think she has a huge future,” her father said. “Nobody doesn’t like Sarah Lee.”

Dedicated environmentalists, the Gores sought to make the wedding as Green as possible, holding the ceremony on the hotel grounds and abstaining from electricity. Instead of a limousine the bride arrived in a horse-drawn carriage. “It was absolutely stunning,” said one guest. “Of course the girl smelled like horseshit all day.”

An embarrassing moment happened when Gore, walking his daughter down the aisle, mistakenly walked across the lily pond leaving Sarah knee deep in the muck.

The bride was quickly dried off. She was resplendent in a white chiffon dress reportedly made by Fairies in a magical forest near the Gore homestead. (Replicas can be purchased at Barney’s for $12,000; second day cross country air delivery an extra $1,000.) The groom wore traditional tie, tails, and an enormous hard-on.

As the sun set parties reveled under gas lit lanterns and listened to a string quartet with no amplification while eating free-range chicken cooked over an open pit. Said a Gore family representative: “It was just like John and Abigail Adams’ wedding, 40 people contracted small pox.”

The only two misfortunes occurred when An Inconvenient Truth producer Laurie David, who was not invited, kept buzzing the ceremony in her Cessna, and when Tipper lived up to her name and passed out in the lily pond leaving a hapless Al standing on the water unable to get to her and cursing his divinity.

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