Vitter Elected GOP Perv of the Week

July 10, 2007 – Louisiana Senator David Vitter acknowledged today that his name is linked to phone records of Deborah Jean Palfrey: “The D.C. Madam,”

Vitter admitted he committed a “serious sin. I mean tossed salad serious, stuff that would make The Aristocrats blush.”

Vitter said that he has discussed the matter with his family and the Lord and has been granted forgiveness. God issued a statement from eternity asking not to be dragged into the matter.

Vitter said that Palfrey ran an “erotic fantasy service.” He also admitted to being part of the “erotic slide in head first fantasy baseball camp,” and the “erotic slide trombone band camp.”

Montgomery Blair Sibley, Palfrey’s lawyer said he was surprised at Vitter’s statement because the phone records were never made public. A spokesman for Vitter’s office said the Senator: “Is basically a moron.”

In a further blow to Vitter, despite his claiming many erotic episodes with Palfrey, the Madam does not recall him. “Tell her I was the one who liked to burn the Constitution and lick the ashes off her chest,” Vitter said.

In an interview in 2004 Vitter’s wife Wendy said that she was more the Lorena Bobbit type than the Hilary Clinton type when it came to infidelity. On being reminded of this Vitter immediately entered the PPP, the Penis Protection Program.