While many people across the country are outraged at President Bush’s commuting the sentence of Scooter Libby those in Washington blame Vice President Dick Cheney for fooling the gullible President.
According to sources imbedded in the White House the President confused commuting a sentence with conjugal visit, and reportedly made his decision based on Chaney convincing him that Libby’s wife Harriet “had to have it.” This confusion also led to the President not commuting Paris Hilton’s sentence, as he reportedly said: “That girl done enough commuting I saw it on the TV machine.”
As the Presidency collapses more former aides are speaking out of the Vice President’s trickery: including convincing the President that invading Iraq was the way you eat Texas barbeque ribs at Chili’s and domestic spying was needed because Laura was banging her Secret Service guard.
Although his sentence has been commuted Libby must still perform community service. This morning Libby was seen entering Cheney’s office wearing kneepads. Reportedly he was to work on Cheney’s limo which needed a rim job. For the remainder of Cheney’s term Libby will live in his man-sized safe where he can care for Harry Whittington who slipped into a vegetative state shortly after Cheney shot him in the face.
Cheney has maintained Libby is innocent because he acted under his authority, and he is neither a member of the legislative or executive branch, and since he works in D.C., which is not a state, did not commit a crime on U.S. soil.
Cheney met with the President this morning to try to explain how that Brownie guy who messed up New Orleans so badly could be in charge of England. “The guy who screwed up New Orleans is still in charge here,” Chaney said. “It keeps us on equal footing.”