White House Spokesperson Tony Snow announced today that Vice President Dick Cheney would be in charge during President George Bush’s routine colonoscopy.
Cheney says he has it on good authority that there are biological bombs in Bush’s lower intestine.
He is hoping the colonoscopy will give him good aerial footage of the President’s intestines so they can remove any growths with pinpoint precision. The Vice President said that he is looking forward to shocking and awing the President’s anus, by penetrating his open Southern boarder, and ramming Special Forces through the hole until the region is clear of unfriendliness.
Reportedly the Vice President is as excited about cramming a tube up the President’s rectum as he was about cramming the Iraqi war down his throat.
When told of Cheney’s plans the President said “I meant I wanted to leave him in charge of something unimportant, like the country, not vitally important, like my ass.”
The President’s ass refused to comment.