Monday, June 18, 2007

David Chase Sues Flatbush Massage Parlor Over Lack of Happy Ending

A frustrated Soprano’s creator David Chase is suing a Flatbush Massage Parlor because he did not receive the happy ending he was promised.

Chase reported being harassed throughout the day, having his breakfast removed from the table before he had finished eating and having only half his hair cut before the barber announced he was through.

“This is how I envisioned his head,” Vito Spatforle, the barber said. “Everyone expects me to cut his hair all the way around, I prefer just to stop, bang, right in the middle.”

Chase then went to the Flatbush establishment to get a massage to help him relax after the less than stellar reviews of the final episode of his show “The Sopranos.”

“She used her oils on me, rubbed me, got rid of the tension, and then she began to manipulate my genitals in a way that I am accustomed to, and then she had me roll on my back and she straddled, me and then the lights went out and she was gone and I was left on the table extremely unsatisfied at the massage’s ending,” Chase said

“I don’t think the owners of this establishment understand how frustrating it is to be led to believe that there is going to be some big final payoff, to have dozens of hints dropped that you are going to get the ending that you deserve, and then boom! The lights go out and you’re left with nothing but disappointment,” he continued.

When reached at his home “Soprano’s” star James Gandolfini said “Hey what’cha gonna do?”

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